Great is thy faithfulness

One could sum up the entire Old (or First) Testament with the word ‘faithfulness’. This word describes God’s response to the covenant he made with his people. In the wonderful story of the minor prophet Hosea, his unfaithful wife Gomer, becomes a metaphor for Israel, Yahweh is the faithful companion.

Faithfulness is at the heart of what a relationship is. In marriage it is absolutely central. We have enough data about how many marriages fail and the effects it has on families. Marriage is about love, faithfulness and plain hard work. When was the last time, if ever, that you have asked another couple, ‘What makes your marriage a success?’ Or has anyone ever asked you? A successful marriage is a partnership where there is give and take, where tasks are shared equally (that includes shopping, cooking, child care, cleaning …), where, if both have work outside the home, both jobs are seen as important – not just for the income, but for social and professional contact, personal development. Decision-making in such a partnership is fully shared, the other is always consulted. Your partner has to be your best friend, your favourite companion. You need to be flexible. The balance will occasionally shift when there is illness or when one of you is studying or if one of you is playing high level sport. Faithfulness ensures that the balance returns as quickly as possible.

If this is faithfulness, then unfaithfulness is much easier to define than breaking a marriage vow. We cannot look at each other as if we are chattels to be owned. Marriage is a most sacred bond, it is sealed in loving fidelity, in the presence of the community. It is sacramental. That is – marriage is an ongoing, everyday sign of God’s presence in our world. That is why it is also a sign of his faithfulness to us, a part of the covenant made with our first parents, and part of the new covenant made by Jesus in his ultimate sacrifice.

None of us is perfect (especially me) however. Failure to be perfect is to be human. But we cannot make our humanity an excuse for not trying. My own family has not been spared from collapsing marriages (a brother, two sisters, three nieces) and I am sure your own families share such stories. As in Hosea’s story, God will always walk with you, will always love you, will be faithful to you to the end of time. Let him be your stronghold and your rock when times are tough and dark.